Let me introduce to you...

Good morning friends. I would like for you to meet someone at my work. For privacy's sake, I will not give you her real name. But it starts with a D, and rhymes with Fonna. She was born in Alabama and went to school in Mississippi (where she "was the only white kid in that school". She has a big country accent and is hilarious. Laugh out loud hilarious. So let me lay out the scenario for you. I work in a cubicle - 3 sides of boredom, and one side open to get in and out. Next door to me is my friend "Cloe". Wink wink. Same set up for her. So clearly we cannot see each other...just hear each other talking on the phone and typing and whatnot. Here is our correspondence from yesterday. (you have to read this in a Southern/Country accent)

- sssiiiiigggghhhhhh.........."I need me some JeeesUs" I hear from next door.
- Did you just say you need you some Jesus Cloe?
- Yeah. I've been out of church for like 2 months now and I can feel it.
- What do you mean you can feel it? What does that mean? (type type type type)
- Well, its like i'm a deer out in the wilderness runnin around. like lyin in a ditch or sumthin. Plus my kids are gettin sick. (pause) I just need me some JeeesUS man.
- Why haven't you been going to church? What caused the stop?
- Well the church made a dress code, and my girls refuse to wear dresses. They say they ain't goin to church dressed like that.
- What kind of church is this? Who set the dress code??
- It's a baptist church...the elders set it. or should i say the "menfolk".
- Hmm. Well have you looked for another church?
- Yeah, a little bit. i just need me some jesus, tho. even my kids say so. they bin sayin, 'Momma, whats wrong? You need to gitchasome JeeesUs?' and i say yeah.
- (type type type)What are you going to do about it?
- I guess I'm gonna find me a good church and get back into. I just need some JeesUS.
- Me too, Cloe. Me too.

Don't we all just to gitchasome Jesus?

Here are some more Cloe comments from cube-land.
- My husband got kicked out of his county's schools for life when he was a keeeiid.....want to know why? (sure). he hit the principal in the head. (ooooo, that'll do it). with a chair.

- I ain't givin up food. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, nuthin like that. At least let me keep my food. I don't care if I have a heart attack I ain't goin on no diet.
Amen Sister!

- I embarassed my daughter today at the bus stop. (really, how?) She was runnin her mouth and I told her in front of the bus that she'd look awful funny with a busted lip from her momma.

You get the point. She talks, I laugh. All day. It is awesome. Sometimes the office ladies just ask her to tells stories and we all sit around and howl. Everyone needs someone like this to brighten up their day!

What about you? Got any funny stories as of late?

Other news of interest:
- Ashley and I leave for YL camp on Friday for a month - can't wait!
- New Mat Kearney CD is out today...go buy it, it is amazing.
- Wedding details are materializing...........but you'll have to find those out later! It will be awesome!
- Because I know you are all dying for more Taffy pictures, I'll put some up tonight or tomorrow. Keep checking back!

Have a great Tuesday. And go gitchyasome Jesus!

You know you're a redneck if....

NEED I SAY MORE?

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

I have always wanted to say that my website is "Under Construction".........but it really isn't. I am just crafting my next blog!!!

Oh by the way...I was THAT GUY again today!! TWICE!! I worked out...on the way home, wanted some wine for the night...stopped by "Sip" on the way home, only to find out that they were having this ultra-hoity-toity wine tasting (I was in workout clothes). I walked in....and you know, once you get so far, you can't really turn around...so there I was, USD shorts and USD shirt (sweaty), and flip flops, standing amongst the crowd of swanks...it was ugly, to say the least.

Not once, but TWICE did my iPhone fly off the treadmill today. I am dead serious friends. 2 TIMES. Woooooosh!!! Off the back of the treadmill. People laughing behind me. THAT GUY AGAIN.

I will update soon......for all of you readers who are dying to get the next blog (all 4 of you)...its on the way!!!!

Hey GUY

If I say the term, "That guy", I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. You know, that guy. You never want to be that guy, and generally make fun of that guy. Well, I was that guy. Most of this happened over the last week, and I thought I'd give you some insight to my worst series of accidents of being "that guy".

- I fell asleep on the plane this weekend with my tray down in front of me. Had a full glass of water. Jolted myself awake, hitting the tray upwards and spilling the water all over myself and the 70 year old next to me. THAT GUY.

- Proceeded to choke on what was left of the water and cough for 10 minutes uncontrollably. CHOKING GUY.

- Got out of my car last week and dropped everything I had in my hands - coffee, what I was about to ship at the UPS store, some change, sunglasses, and a book. Everyone driving by just stared......PARKING LOT GUY.

- Plane delayed, short connection, zero time. Running thru the Denver Airport with 2 bags and sweating, only to miss my plane by 5 minutes. Breathing hard, yelling at the person at the check stand. AIRPORT GUY.

- At the Yardhouse in Palm Springs, Matt pretends to slap the waitress in the you-know-what, causing her to tell management, causing a scene. THOSE GUYS.

- While working out, accidentally pulled the "STOP" ripcord on the tredmill, causing me to trip and then yank my iPhone out of the holder thingy. It then landed on the tredmill and shot about 10 feet backwards, leaving me standing there looking around in amazement. THAT GUY.

Have you ever been that guy? Got any stories of that guy? Please, share! And stop making fun of me!

Come one, come all!

Bring your lawn chair. Bring your dog. Bring a bottle of wine. Bring whatever you want. We're just going to get together and listen to music and hang out. Why don't more things happen like that? Ashley, her friend Emily and I went to this place called Matilda's the other day - with very low expectations, at least for me. From the front, it looks like a dump. It's basically a store that sells a variety of crap - you know, old furniture that has been painted over like 10 times, weird metal objects, stuff like that. But we walked around back (it was dark) and there was a totally different scene and feel going on.

The first thing we saw was a huge old barn with an enormous American flag painted on it. Very cool. To the left was another old country house - not lived in - with the front porch set up as a stage. It had lighting, sound systems, you name it. To the right was an open area with about 200 people. They had brought blankets, fold out tables, chairs, dogs, food, beer, wine, frisbees, kids...it was awesome! For about an hour and a half, a blugrass group played. We sat there and half listened and half talked, and loved it. It sure didn't feel like we were in Alpharetta, GA. It felt more like a Boone or Bend event, and Ashley and I both liked that.

Can't there be more events like this? A community of gatherers with really nothing in common other than wanting to get out of the house and do something, anything for a night. Wanting to do something different and cool. Wanting to feel like a local. Or wanting to feel like you are not local at all, in our case. It sure was a lot better than going to a "formal" concert - paying $40 to get in, and spending more $$ on decent food. We spend $10 to get in, and brought whatever we wanted. We loved it.

In case you were wondering, here are some more random events and updates:
- Danny turned 50. We had a great celebration of life, because he thinks that once you turn 50 you are going to die. We told him otherwise.
- Taffy and Spanky (the dogs) continue to be the cutest in the world. See pics below.
- Ashley and I had a great time in Arizona for our Young Life training...can't wait to be there for a month!
- My brother is starting his pilgrimege to Oregon...he found a place to live and a job! A productive week, to say the least.
- Work is going good - I am now managing our MySpace page...should I make a shameless plug? Ok. www.myspace.com/ironhorseauto
- I have pandora on and Don't Stop Believin just came on...its going to be a good day!
- Wedding plans are coming along...March 2010 is looking like the wedding month. Probably the 20th for the actual date, although don't hold us to that just yet!

Until next time, do something local. Go have fun. Summer is almost here!