Grandma Casebeer is the funniest human alive

You might think you know some funny people, or have some funny family members. I am telling you I have the trump card: Marcia Casebeer. She is one of the creative and funny people I have met, and the following story is one that she wrote me in response to my Halloween blog. Enjoy!

"I have always loved Halloween and when the boys were little I would tell them that Halloween was the ONLY time that witches and goblins could be "free" and have a "chance" to capture a little boy or a little girl--and THAT was why it was so necessary to "dress" up in a costume so that the witches would not REALIZE that you were a little boy or girl. Also we had "noise-makers" because the witches could stand the sound of the noisemakers--so the thing to do was to make a LOT of noise and keep your mask on at all times!!!! On the afternoon of Halloween I would go to a neighbors and use their phone to call home--and one of the boys would answer-and in a squeeky-crackly voice--I would say--"this is the WITCH and I will be watching you tonite!!!" After dinner Dick would take them out for the trick or treating and I would put on my "witches costume" and take a broom--and get on one of our bikes--and just ride around the neighborhood cackling etc.--and it would cause quite a commotion--but you could sure hear the "noisemakers" going full blast-and everyone had their costumes on!! Once home I would await their arrival and the stories of how many time they saw that witch go by--it was SPOOKY!!!
- I can only imagine this scene...3 boys and Grandpa running around yelling and banging things while this crazy woman is riding thru the neighborhood on her bike, cackling and laughing hysterically!! Anyway, continue reading, the next story is better.

When we were transferred back to Coos Bay--and Scott was in the 3rd grade-Todd in the 2nd grade-for some reason I decided that I would visit their school the afternoon of Halloween--and they had not idea-none! So I got dressed up in my witches outfit-I had a really big witches hat-=and with my "nose" and "glasses" on you really-really could not tell it was me--and since their classes were all on the first floor of the school building-and because they had low windows--it was easy for me to crouch down and just run the length of their class room--with just the tip of my witch hat showing just above the window sill-and I could hear the teacher explaining something--and then hear a student say--look!! --there is a witch out there!!--and then others would see it--and the teacher would try to get them settled down and say it just could not be witch--by then I was off to the next classroom!! If I did this today-I would be arrested--anyway--this was going SO well that I went inside the school-got to Tood's class first--burst open the door-and with my broom -hopped up on a desk and shouted in a 'Horrible" voice-fee-fie-fo-fum--tonite I will get a little girl or boyium!!!-and off I would dash-to Scott's room-do the same-by now the two rooms were in an uproar-even the teachers--and THEN I saw the principal coming down the hall shouting --witch-witch--no don't go!!! So I stopped and he was laffing so hard--and asked if I would visit ALL the rooms-just quickly--and so I did--and THAT school was totally aware of the witch's "visit". When the boys got home--they could hardly wait to tell me about the witch--actually--ACTUALLY-coming to their school--and into their ROOMS!!!! It wasn't until we moved to Salem that I finally told them who the witch really was--and they had no idea!!!"

Imagine with me, if you will, a woman running outside of every classroom with only the tip of her hat showing. If you were a 2nd grader and saw that crap, I would be scared out of my mind. For Grandma? Mission accomplished! But this wasn't good enough for her...she runs into the school and into the class and up on a desk and singles out Todd Casebeer and cackles at him that she will eat him and get him later tonight. Could you imagine the sheer horror this must created? And at the same time, the sheer delight for Grandma?? Brilliant.

But she wasn't only Halloween tricks and pranks. When we were younger she would keep 4 grandkids busy for hours without spending a dime. We would go to Kueblers Furniture and she would pretend to be shopping while secretly we were all playing hide and seek. She would be talking to the salesman and every now and then would spot us and hiss "I see you!!!! go hide again!!!".

Another memory would be "fishing". She would announce that we were going to go fishing when we got to the house, and this would be so exciting. We would then spend the next 3 hours or so making the poles...out of things we found around the house...then by the time we were "ready" to go fishing, it would be time to go!! Genius!!

Anyway, this woman is hilarious. You would have to meet her to experience her story telling skills, and how good she is at writing poems at Christmas, and how great of a golfer she is (still plays multiple times a week, came within 7 shots of shooting her age a few years ago). Hopefully you'll get the chance in your lifetime, if you already haven't, to meet the one and only Grandma Casebeer.

In other news, was that election night crazy or what? It is illiciting responses from people that are just downright dumb. Here are some highlights of things I've heard from around Boone and the nation:
- The end of the world is here
- Praise the Lord that I don't have to worry about filling up my car with gas or paying my mortgage anymore.
- Are we living in Revelation?
- Packing up my stuff, moving to Canada
- Be back in 4 years
- Palin 2012

I mean, come on people. I thought Obama did an amazing job in his acceptance speech, and couldn't help think while he was talking that I was witnessing probably one of the top 5 most historic speeches in American History. Pretty cool to think about, and watch, and experience.

That's all I've got for today...if you have any responses for Grandma, post them or email them to me and I'll forward them on! Enjoy the sun if you live in Boone!!


j.o. said...

Grandama Case....awesome stories! I got such a great visual and could just picture her running along the windows!

On another note, did you notice that Obama gave his acceptance speech solo? And that Biden was nowhere to be found....

Alex Casebeer said...

I thought it was weird that he showed up about 3 minutes into the ovation after the speech...not sure if he was hiding back stage, traveling in from Scranton, or what. I did find that interesting though...