Let me introduce to you...

Good morning friends. I would like for you to meet someone at my work. For privacy's sake, I will not give you her real name. But it starts with a D, and rhymes with Fonna. She was born in Alabama and went to school in Mississippi (where she "was the only white kid in that school". She has a big country accent and is hilarious. Laugh out loud hilarious. So let me lay out the scenario for you. I work in a cubicle - 3 sides of boredom, and one side open to get in and out. Next door to me is my friend "Cloe". Wink wink. Same set up for her. So clearly we cannot see each other...just hear each other talking on the phone and typing and whatnot. Here is our correspondence from yesterday. (you have to read this in a Southern/Country accent)

- sssiiiiigggghhhhhh.........."I need me some JeeesUs" I hear from next door.
- Did you just say you need you some Jesus Cloe?
- Yeah. I've been out of church for like 2 months now and I can feel it.
- What do you mean you can feel it? What does that mean? (type type type type)
- Well, its like i'm a deer out in the wilderness runnin around. like lyin in a ditch or sumthin. Plus my kids are gettin sick. (pause) I just need me some JeeesUS man.
- Why haven't you been going to church? What caused the stop?
- Well the church made a dress code, and my girls refuse to wear dresses. They say they ain't goin to church dressed like that.
- What kind of church is this? Who set the dress code??
- It's a baptist church...the elders set it. or should i say the "menfolk".
- Hmm. Well have you looked for another church?
- Yeah, a little bit. i just need me some jesus, tho. even my kids say so. they bin sayin, 'Momma, whats wrong? You need to gitchasome JeeesUs?' and i say yeah.
- (type type type)What are you going to do about it?
- I guess I'm gonna find me a good church and get back into. I just need some JeesUS.
- Me too, Cloe. Me too.

Don't we all just to gitchasome Jesus?

Here are some more Cloe comments from cube-land.
- My husband got kicked out of his county's schools for life when he was a keeeiid.....want to know why? (sure). he hit the principal in the head. (ooooo, that'll do it). with a chair.

- I ain't givin up food. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, nuthin like that. At least let me keep my food. I don't care if I have a heart attack I ain't goin on no diet.
Amen Sister!

- I embarassed my daughter today at the bus stop. (really, how?) She was runnin her mouth and I told her in front of the bus that she'd look awful funny with a busted lip from her momma.

You get the point. She talks, I laugh. All day. It is awesome. Sometimes the office ladies just ask her to tells stories and we all sit around and howl. Everyone needs someone like this to brighten up their day!

What about you? Got any funny stories as of late?

Other news of interest:
- Ashley and I leave for YL camp on Friday for a month - can't wait!
- New Mat Kearney CD is out today...go buy it, it is amazing.
- Wedding details are materializing...........but you'll have to find those out later! It will be awesome!
- Because I know you are all dying for more Taffy pictures, I'll put some up tonight or tomorrow. Keep checking back!

Have a great Tuesday. And go gitchyasome Jesus!


Anonymous said...

Sweet man. I'm always amazed at good storytellers. People who can talk about nothing but still hold your attention. I've never been to cubicle land, I wonder how I'd fare there. And there is definitely that "something" that is missing when you don't have a church family. Keep us posted on how the D onna story progresses!

Anonymous said...

Been a while since I've watched Dogma. Good stuff